Birthday Wishes: A List

  • An uncongested head
  • A more helpful horoscope than this one:

    For Wednesday, May 27 -You can’t be helping other people all the time! Today, it’s time to help yourself. Add a few selfish acts into your good deeds and don’t feel bad about it. Don’t do anything too crazy — just put yourself first a few times when you usually would not. This isn’t an excuse to forget your manners — you should still say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and be a nice person. But you deserve a day when you treat yourself more like the star you are. There’s no harm in that.

  • Surprise visitors
  • At least one correct answer to a trivia question from either of these decks:
    All-St*r Sports Edition
    All-St*r Sports Edition
    Baby Boomer Edition
    Baby Boomer Edition
  • A phone call from a benevolent book publisher
  • An email from a benevolent journal editor
  • A handshake from a benevolent hobo
  • Some yarn art to fill this space, and/or replace the unicorn which is too unlike the rest of my collection to really fit well and, though it’s dumb to say, is a bit too 2005:
  • World peace
  • The sudden disappearance of all “Visualize Whirled Peas” bumper sticks, buttons, T-shirts, et al.
  • An advance copy of The Pale King
  • Everyone to have a good time, or a whole good day, whether or not I’m involved at all.

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