Category: Live Blogging

I’m leaving MacDowell soon after four weeks here, and one of the many generous things they offer you is a photo shoot. During mine, the photographer had me pretend to be working. Here is what I typed:

New project. She?s taking my picture. I keep laughing. Can?t imagine I?m looking good. Telling bad stories. My waddle must be shitty, too. Never know wheter to close my mouth or not. Or keep it open. So I don?t know what else to do much here alos. My eyes, too. Stern brow? Gentle look of curiosity? Look right at the camera? Or here at my laptop screen? I guess here and not at her. Here. How?s my posture? Hopefully it?s beeter this way. Proud chest

For the record, my waddle in the pics was shitty.

One hour, fifty-three minutes in, Edward accuses Bella of giving away too much.

Oh, and Bella’s a virgo, naturally.

Things Bella hasn’t to my knowledge done to present herself as a person worthy of all this relentless protection:

• Asked someone how his or her day was.
• Saved a life.
• Provided the right answer on that econ final.
• Found that Silly Bandz Edward lost.
• Offered to clean up after that big graduation party.
• Spared a dime.
• Ironed her mom’s thongs.
• Bought her own damn car with, say, a part-time job.
• Confessed to Jasper how terrible his haircut is.
• Really, anything.

I don’t get it. She’s not, like, the ring-bearer or anything. So she gets killed by an army of newborns. Why is this a problem?

Okay it’s the third movie by now so I get it: women and girls are delicate things that are constantly in danger and need men (preferably men with supernatural powers) to protect them at all times.

But does Bella have to be so delicate and in constant danger and needing of supernatural boys to protect her at all times?

Bella’s story happens to her the way I imagine reading these page-turners washes over you in an easy lukewarm flood.

We’re watching this because it was available. I may as well live-blog my reactions to the movie.

Sun-dappled Bella on choosing the University of Alaska: “They have a really great science program.”