Remember when TLC was going to run a taxidermy special, which it then scheduled to air March 10 and then for whatever reason tabled for who knows when?
Well now the History Channel (which is weirdly trying to brand itself as, simply, “History”—as though the network were some sort of televised embodiment of all that’s come before us) has jumped on the taxidermy bandwagon with, wait for it, Mounted in Alaska (mountedinalaska.com was bought on Valentine’s Day this year, but nothing there as of yet). The network ordered 15 episodes, premiering April 7.
I don’t have cable. I’ll have to steal it from the Internet.
Russell Knight’s the central character of the show. I’ve never heard of him; not that I’m any sort of expert. Looking at his Web site’s pics it seems the guy does a lot of bears. Which may explain why taxidermy‘s Wikipedia page (an utter fucking wreck, pardon my French, which is a post for another time) claims the following:
Taxidermists seek to continually maintain their skills to ensure attractive, life-like results. Many taxidermists in the USA use bears, though some use creatures such as snakes, birds and fish.
Um, no. Really? No. Or well: fine, but now define many. That deer doesn’t appear anywhere on this page means the whole thing’s a dumb hilarious mess, like Michelle Bachman wanting to be U.S. president.
But Knight’s in Alaska, so natürlich he mounts bears. Ten bucks says there’s a moose in the premiere.